DatingJosh

Amazing, the shards of hope we cling to. One of mine melts away today. Incredible, the plans we make, the dreams we spawn in the name of hope. Tomorrow my lease renewal is due with my monthly rent check. Another year in my apartment home. The virtual elimination of any hope of Kim and I living together.

I meant it when I told her I would live with her. We were together nine months. Had I been normal, we would have celebrated a year not too long ago and as both our leases came up for renewal, I am certain there would have been talk of making the next step. Kim told me this that fateful Monday, almost 3 weeks ago. She would have wanted this so very much.

Incredible, the plans we make. I clung to the shard of hope that my love and my words would be enough to bring her back to me. I planned for the wild, impossible dream of the two of us living together. To show Kimberly that I am no longer afraid. To show her she is the center of my world. To make her smile and laugh every single day. To build a life.

My voice is a lonely, plaintive echo in a vast, dark warehouse aged by disuse and neglect. These thoughts? As they were taking shape in my mind mere moments ago, it began to rain.